Update: Crawling Out

Doing better today. Have cried a little. I think I have late onset abandonment issues. Is that a real thing? Never mind, it is now.

not again.

One o'clock in the morning on a school night. What am I doing? Not sleeping, that's what. Luckily for you, dear reader, I am not the crying mess I was an hour and a half ago. I'm about ready to go to bed and try again.

Needless to say, I'm having trouble coping with the uprising of "those people." I made it through the whole thing quite well, and then on the way home, I fell back in that old hole. Then, the hole got deeper. I don't know why I have so much trouble with this. I really thought I was out this time, but it turns out I was just fooling myself again. I'll probably explain more later, but since I did some bill paying, I have calmed down quite a bit, which is weird.

There is no telling what I would have written if I had come here first.

Until I can explain,

SKH, blogging from the hole

I. LOVE. MY . JOB.

'm LOVING my new job. I'm working at a medical clinic
with preschoolers with disabilities. I have some
teaching responsibilities, but it's more like helping kids reach
certain goals than what most people think of as teaching. I really
like the people and the kids are fun, even if they can get a little
out of control sometimes.

I'm going to start my graduate program in January. It's
all online and distance learning. I've never
done those kinds of classes, so I'm a little nervous.

When I get my special ed licensure, I might be able to move up to an
administrative position as a program coordinator, so
that is also very exciting.

I'm off to Little Rock tomorrow for a friend's wedding, so wish me luck. I am going to be surrounded by people who have been very mean to me, and while I'm sure they won't make a fuss at the wedding, I will definitely be pushed aside and talked about. Pray that I will have the strength to ignore them and not respond to their hate.

Peace Out,

SKH

Birthday Presents and Drawings

Here is a picture of Roxie in her birthday present. She always has the crazy eyes when I take a photo. And, I've been drawing pictures lately, so I thought I would post them. Here are a few.

An Email From Ashley

Ashley: I really want to call you to tell you this because I know you'll laugh, but it's 1:30am, so I won't. I was just looking through my old texts and saw the one you sent me the other night about being hit on. This was maybe the third or fourth time I've read it, and first time I actually read it correctly. If any of my responses didn't make any sense it was because I read it as "Got hit on by an armed man last night." rather than "Got hit on by a one armed man last night." The word "one" was at the end of a line and I somehow managed to skip over it multiple times. Good grief.

New News!

A. Roxie turned two this Halloween! Let's look at how the little gal has grown, eh?


Roxie in May 2006 after her "time on the street."


Halloween 2006. Roxie's first birthday.


A few weeks ago while preparing for the Razorback game. Spoiler Alert: We Lost.


And unrelatedly, I found Elvis at a craft show in northwest Arkansas.

B. I got that job. Should start in mid-November.

C. I got hit on by a one-armed man with "the crazy eyes" on Halloween.

My Pumpkin

This is a picture of my carving with it lit. It was really hard to take a picture at night.




This a better picture that I took with the flash.

Things About Me #11 - #20

11. I like candy corn a lot. I am eating some right now.
12. Although I was in a sorority, I really dislike sorority girls. And I live in a college town.
13. I want to get only Parade, sale papers, and coupons from my Sunday paper. I can watch The Daily Show for all other news.
14. I dyed my own eyebrows tonight. It worked great except the color I picked is too light. I chose a dark ash blonde, but i guess I need something more brown, because they barely changed color.
15. I like to doodle.
16. I like playing Sudoku, and I recently renewed my interest in the game after reading a book called The Sudoku Murders. I would do a hyperlink, but I don't want to.
17. My favorite new TV show is Chuck on NBC. If you aren't watching it, you should start.
18. I do not like to be near birds, and I particularly dislike chickens. They want to peck my eyes out.
19. As a child, I never drank Coke or any soda. Now, I like Dr. Pepper only.
20. I use a laser level to hang things. I got it from my sister-in-law for college graduation.

I Need to Make Titles on These

Still waiting to hear back from the new job. Apparently there has been some upheaval at the center and both people I interviewed with have left. Uh-oh. However, my recommendation had already been sent to Little Rock, so I should still be hired. We'll see. Anyway, I'm still working the other two jobs for the time being.

Also, I carved an awesome pumpkin tonight. I need to take a photo and put it on here. Anyway, it's freakin' cool.

I got a line on a new job. A real job. I'm going to talk to someone at the place tomorrow and go look around on Wednesday, maybe. That's my only free day this week. Well, it's not free. I have to work that afternoon. I hope i like the place so I can get a job there. They will pay for 90% of school if I decide to go back and learn more!

While I Was Driving...

I spent the last few days in central Arkansas visiting a sick relative and a few friends. On the way back I made a few life realizations.

1. I am still angry about what my former friends did to me. For anyone who doesn't know, I won't tell because the details are lengthy and boring. The short story is that my group of friends from college dropped me like a bad habit for a crappy reason. They also made fun of me on Myspace but not to my real face, so it took me a while to realize and believe what they were doing.
I cannot get over that whole thing and be at peace until I resolve my anger. ANy psychologists out there with good ideas? Or even friends? How do I resolve my anger without talking to those with whom I am angry?

2. I may not go back into teaching now. I like teaching, but I've already done the hard part. I can start teaching again later in life. No rush. I am going to start thinking about other careers.

3. It is a bad idea to join the military.

I tried to eat spaghetti from a frozen meal tonight. I don't recommend it.

I'm feeling a little nauseous.

And I'm still hungry because most of the spaghetti is in the sink.

Taco Bueno, anyone?

Not correct, I think...

Your signature candle is Ginger Peach


Which Candle Suits You?

Brought to you by Tickle

Damn it. I think Mikey has a new girlfriend. I know I shouldn't care, but for some reason I'm sitting here crying. Stupid boys. Crazy girls. Oh well, it's my thing to get over.

I swear, Ashley, as the only person who reads this, along with Katie who as wisely dumped social networking applications, I really NEED to get off Facebook. For the same reason I had to get off MySpace. I can't help but go look at his page every few weeks, and then this happens. Hell, probably most of that crap that went down in April/May would have never been so bad if I didn't have such an easy way to snoop on people. Think about it, I would have never known they were making fun of me. I would never have posted that blog. I would never have gotten in those arguments, and my good day would not have been ruined by one little comment post.

And, Ashley, as the only person who ever contacts me on Facebook, I am asking your permission to leave. Maybe I'll start again someday, but right now, it just doesn't seem worth the pain it causes me to realize just how few people want to interact with me.

DAMN IT!!!!!

I don't like cats, but I did this anyway. This is ironically accurate. I'm weirdly proportioned.

Also, I think I might go see The Bourne Ultimatum. By myself.

Don't cry for me. I'm fine.

Your Score: Longcat

74% Affectionate, 43% Excitable, 35% Hungry

Protector of truth.

Slayer of darkness.

Loooooong.


Longcat may seem like just a regular lengthy cat, but he is, in fact, looong. For proof, observe the longpic.


It is prophesized that Longcat and his archnemesis Tacgnol will battle for supremacy on Caturday. The outcome will change the face of the world, and indeed the very fabric of lolcatdom, forever.


Be grateful that the test has chosen you, and only you, to have this title.


To see all possible results, checka dis.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I'm pretty much settled in to my new home. I've gotten a part time job at the mall. I won't make enough to survive, but I'm hoping that when school starts I'll be able to sub often enough to not need another job.

As I am typing, Roxie is standing on the computer. This is her way of telling me to get off the computer and play. I'm thirsty for orange juice. A doctor told me it would help my iron absorb better. I hope so.

I'm he-e-e-re!

The move is over. Now I just need a job.

I don't know if I will be able to get a teaching job because I'm kind of late in the game. Of course, last time I got a job, I had the interview before I filled out an application, and that was the week before school starts. We'll see. I've updated my resume and created and printed cover letters for every district in the area. Now, I have to distribute them and also try to get a part-time job to fill the space. I applied at a couple of places at the mall, but I have not heard back form them. I am going to apply at a shoe store tomorrow and stop by those other places to see if I can talk to anybody. I think that just by looking at my info, I appear to be way overqualified for sales. I've got to talk to them to let them know I'm not expecting them to pay me my old salary to work a register and field questions about clothing products.

I may have to go to a temp service. Anyone know anything about those places?

Secrets Revealed

Wellza, I'ze be all packed and ready to roll. I'm extremely excited about moving. The downside is that I'll be a bit farther from Little Rock than I am now. That means fewer visits to my brother's home. I also don't have a job, which is something that is hard to explain to the utility companies and such. I'm not worried, but everyone else is.

I had lunch with an old friend Saturday. In fact, along with another girl I grew up with, he is in fact the friend I have had the longest. We didn't talk for years when we were in college, you know, we both were doing our own thing at different schools, but when the other old friend I mentioned got married, we came across each other again.

Somebody's Been Sleeping in My Bed...

Wowzers. Someone has been here. A few times. Leave me a comment so I'll know who you are. I'd probably be encouraged to write more if I thought people were reading this. I mostly just write when I need to, but I always want to.

Who you be?

Woohoo

Hey! I'm packing! In fact, I'm moving on, both literally and figuratively. I'm moving to another area of the sate next weekend, and I'm slowly but surely getting over Mikey and his stupidity. I'm beginning to appreciate life again and have regained my music (a saying I used in college was, "Never lose the music.") It refers to how I am constantly singing songs and thinking songs in my head. When I begin to feel down, the music decreases, too. Well, I've got my music back!

Bad Night

It's 1:40 a.m. I can't sleep. I did, however, cry for an hour while laying in bed. So sad, I know. I knew I would cry inevitably, so I got up and am now sitting in the living room watching Women's Ninja Warrior and typing this. Roxie, the dog, had a hard time making herself come in here with me. She really wanted to stay in bed and went back there for a few minutes to see if that would entice me to return. When she realized I wasn't coming, she returned to me and is now at my side. Sweet dog, long sentence.

I have turned into a sad person. I still have the old happiness sometimes, but generally, I feel sad. I feel abandoned and left behind, but worst of all, I feel hopeless. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. Tomorrow, someone will tell me I can't let him get me down. I don't want to feel this way, nevertheless, I do.

I'm stalled.

Things about me #1 - #10

1. I have a dog. Her name is Roxie. She is a Chaweiner Terrier.
2. Every year I forget how hot summer gets down here.
3. I'm just resigned from my teaching job of three years so I can move to another area of the state.
4. I don't have a job/plan in said new area.
5. My boyfriend of nine months just broke up with me. He will also be moving to the new area.
6. I think I have bad circulation in my feet. They are always cold.
7. I think they should hire me to do Sonic commercials.
8. I love to swim. I go to the local indoor pool and swim laps on a semi-often basis.
9. I don't like reality TV, except Survivor and Amazing Race. Go CBS!
10. I also have a pet toad named El Senor. He is a classroom pet that no longer has a classroom.

Beginning Again

Well. Here I am. Starting again. This is my fourth beginning in the blog world. I have no idea how many beginnings I have had in the real world. I probably won't post often if the past blogs are an indicator. I write when I need to get things out.